L=Laziness

I'll admit it... sometimes I want to be lazy. I will confess that, from time to time, I have used my pain to get out of doing chores that I probably could have done. Oh! I can't believe I just admitted that...! But, I'm writing this blog as a chance for me to look back and analyze what's happened to me, and laziness is part of that.

I fell into the routine of "resting" quite easily. After I quit my job (and after a year of trying to teach while in pain, it was time to quit), I was grateful to be able to rest and not push myself every day. I began so sleep later (my final entry, Z=ZZZZZ, will discuss sleep), which meant that I could stay up later. I have always preferred to be a night owl; the corrolary is that I have always preferred to sleep late. My friends joke with me that "I don't DO mornings!" (Somehow everyone has forgotten that I worked for years from 8:00-5:00 or from 9:00-6:00; even though I never liked mornings, I did it!)

I discovered the joy of TV again. I had gotten out of the habit of watching much TV, partly because of time restraints, partly because of other (more fun) things to do, partly because there wasn't much on TV that I really wanted to watch. But, now, I'm so grateful for my TV and DVR. I have hours and hours of "stuff" to watch that can give my brain a break from thinking about pain. There are some really terrific shows out there, and some junky ones that are still funny.

As I'm feeling better and beginning to push myself again, I'm struggling against wanting to "rest." It's a difficult balance to reach, sometimes, this need to rest and the need to be active. Unfortunately, laziness has influenced my life for a time; I really have to look at my motivations and think, "am I 'resting' because my body is tired or hurting? or am I 'resting' because I don't want to do whatever's on the schedule today?" At least, I'm aware of this tendency, and I can begin to fight it. Truth be told, I really prefer to work (later, you'll see P=Productive), and I'm happier when I'm active. But, at least for now, there will be a part of my day that I will rest and a part of my day to be active.

I don't want to let laziness interfere with my decision-making about my life!